Jack of all trades and a master of none...
is it that bad a thing?

Woke up to a mom telling me how I should put some form of discipline in my life and that my short term goal is to do well for my A's since I have no bloody idea what to do in the future.


Honestly, entering a university doesn't sound that important to me. And do people have to live their entire lives as artists, musicians, writers, office ladies, engineers..? Can't we try out different things we like at different times and lead a fulfilling life?

Adults would tell me that isn't having a profession at all but bloody heck, I can't imagine myself doing the same thing over and over again until I'm good at it. I'm a person who enjoys trying new things and learning from others who are better than me. I want to dabble with things that make me happy, can't I?

Even if I find something that I really love and continue to be good at it, I don't have to spend my entire life trying to be good at it, do I?

I'm afraid I'll end up hating what I love because I'll be forced to do something everyone else like and that isn't easy at all. All these while I've been worrying about my future career because I'm not good enough in art or music or what I love, but is that the point here? I think I can be happy working on something until I'm happy with it, not meeting others' expectations of something good.



This might seem like naive thinking, but think about it again. We've been taught to have a profession in something and go through what everybody goes through, and we let other people tell us what life is all about.

Over here, doing anything non-academic is considered to be daring enough. I wonder.. if one day I really manage to do what I've written above, how would life look like for me?

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But for now, what I'm facing is the A's. I've wasted the chance of learning so much and it's such a pity. I do regret not studying, not because I'm afraid I won't be able to enter a university but because I could have learnt so much more.

Studying is actually very fun if we don't have to work for results.
I'm sure all of you agree.

I'm still treating jc life like a learning experience more than anything else, so the idea of being "not in time" is actually not that strong for me. Maybe that's why I'm still feeling numb about the prelims. I should just convert this "numbness" into a calm state of mind and study now. I'll screw up prelims. Just a warning.